WHO THE F*CK ARE YOU?
MY NAME IS ANDREW DAHLQUIST
He/him. Copywriter. Creative Director. Screenwriter. Music Artist. And the alleged A.I. Drew Dahlquist.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
A KINDRED KIND OF THING.
Whether you're a brand, an agency, or production company looking for a multi-faceted writer (or creative director), I am ultimately looking for an "I think we could be bandmates" kinda thing.
WHERE'VE YOU SPENT MOST OF YOUR PROFESSIONAL WRITING CAREER?
BOWFLEX. HISTORICALLY SWEATY DUDE ROCK.
But Bowflex has quietly toned down the machismo over the years. I worked with Nautilus Inc. for 7.5 years on the Bowflex, Schwinn Fitness, and JRNY fitness brands. As the only in-house copywriter, I worked on pretty much everything.
DO YOU HAVE A LINKEDIN PAGE?
YES.
Though if you're looking for entertainment value, you won't find much there. It's very vanilla, like the cold corporate walls of LinkedIn's soul.
WHAT'S A RANDOM SILLY WORK PROJECT THAT YOU'RE PROUD OF?
HAMMR BY BJÖRNFLEX
A couple evil genius Nautilus Inc. employees and I came up with a strength product gag. It's a selectorized Thor hammer. We even built a fully functional prototype. Time was limited, money and resources was 0, and we presented this (in matching t-shirts) in front of about 60 confused employees.
IS IT TRUE YOU LIVE IN A HAUNTED BARN WITH A FAMILY OF OWLS?
IT'S NOT TRUE.
I live in an apartment in Los Angeles, California and am available to work remotely, hybrid, etc.
AND YOU STUDIED COMEDY AT UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE?
YES.
I've taken Improv 101, Sketch 101, Sketch 201, and Comedy Pilot Writing. I also graduated with a Bachelors from the University of Idaho (English Literature).
MAY I READ YOUR SOUTH PARK SPEC SCRIPT?
YES.
You may! And any of my other scripts if you'd like. The South Park spec placed as a quarterfinalist (Top 15 overall) in the 2022 Scriptapalooza TV competition.
HAVE YOUR SCRIPTS WON ANY OTHER AWARDS?
YES.
Finalist: Stage 32 TV Comedy Writing Contest 2021, Quarterfinalist: Scriptapalooza TV Writing 2022, Quarterfinalist: WeScreenPlay TV Lab 2022, Quarterfinalist: Final Draft Big Break 2021, Quarterfinalist: ScreenCraft Screenwriting Fellowship 2021, Quarterfinalist: ScreenCraft Comedy 2021, and a couple others.
IS IT TRUE YOU ALSO WRITE MUSIC?
YES. SINCE I WAS 15.
I write experimental electronic jams under the name Satelle. I've released 5 albums and have done remixes with Danish synthpunk band Hiraki, Ninja Tune legends Coldcut, and Bulgarian producer/composer Kan Wakan. That's my dad in the mustache and me in the mullet with the TMNT t-shirt.
DO YOU LIKE HEAVY METAL MUSIC?
YES.
Meshuggah. Converge. The Armed. Plebeian Grandstand. Frontierer. Carpenter Brut. Deftones. Oranssi Pazuzu. Pharmakon. Godflesh. The Callous Daoboys. Death.
DO YOU LIKE NON-HEAVY NON-METAL MUSIC?
YES.
Jon Hopkins. Biosphere. Raime. Brian Eno. Scott Walker. György Ligeti. Andy Stott. Ween. Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith. Sophie. Gunship. Sparks. Mid-Air Thief. Illuminati Hotties. Floating Points. Mica Levi. D'Angelo. Vangelis.
WHAT IS YOUR SIGN?
CANCER SUN W/ GEMINI RISING
The street I grew up on was Conestoga.
HOW DO YOU UNWIND? AKA ARE YOU HEALTHY OR A TOXIC TRASH BAG?
RECHARGING IS IMPORTANT TO ME.
Meditation. Long walks in Griffith Park or a beach. Reading. Art museums. Writing music. Doing absolutely nothing. Learning something new. Podcasts. Sleeping well. Aiming for balance.
CAN I REACH YOU AT ANDREWTDAHLQUIST@GMAIL.COM?
YES.
And my Instagram is @andrewdahlquist.